Inuyasha and Miroku in Saw
by kittycatiscool
Summary: Miroku and Inuyasha are trapped in the cellar in this new twist of Saw. Will Miroku and Inuyasha prevail? please note that Miroku is psycho
1. Chapter 1

Inuyasha awoke on a cracked tiled floor. He stared blankly around in a dreamlike state, his surroundings not registering to him. His foot was chained to a pipe, and the air around him stank of death. The lights flickered on and Inuyasha was mortified. Kagome lie in the center of the floor, with blood pooled around her body.

"Kagome!" he screeched! His face stained with tears.

"Have you ever heard the sound of one hand clapping?" Inuyasha jerked his head upward, and Miroku was hanging by his ankles.

"Miroku they have you too! He jumped up only to come crashing down again. "I'm stuck to the pipe! Help me!"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

"The hell if I know you-" but he was interrupted by a small voice coming from underneath Kagome. "Let's play a game." It said and Miroku swung back and forth until he could grab the tape recorder sticking out from underneath her.

"What the F&$ is this?" The recording sounded like a voice moderator and it kept speaking. "You have three hours before the door locks itself. The key is inside one of you, your first task is to figure out who possess the key to unlocking your freedom. Press the 1 and the pound sign when you've figured out who; until then I will keep you company." It took a short pause and then progressed into Lincoln's inauguration speech.

"Shit" they said in unison. As quickly as they could, they both lifted up their shirts. Inuyasha had stitches across his stomach. "Aha! So it is I, who possess the key! What do we do next?"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg?"

"Obviously the chicken… or is it?" Inuyasha muttered while Miroku pressed the one and pound sign. Automatically Lincoln's speech stopped and Elevator music began.  
They bobbed their heads until the voice returned. Now that you know that Inuyasha has the key…"

_Damn we could have just done that to begin with it told us who had it! _Inuyasha thought and listened again.

"Now inside the toilet there are 5 items one is a bottle of laxatives, Is the key in a pile of crap? There is also I knife to cut the stitches can you take pain to win the game? There is also a turkey baser; can you suck the key from your stitches? The fourth is a syringe that contains a fast acting drug that knocks you out. Would this be useful? No it's actually kind of pointless. The last is a magnet. Be creative. Now you must only choose one. To keep you company I will discuss UFO's and whether they really exist… Four scores and seven years ago our fore fathers-"

"What are we to do?" Inuyasha yelled, "and why the hell is he talking about Lincoln again when he is supposed to be talking about UFO's!"

"Would a fly without wings be a walk?" Miroku said and Inuyasha growled.

"Miroku, focus! Which should we chose?"

"The laxatives."

"Why, ill get the runs!" Inuyasha was worried, had Miroku gone mad?

"Fine then we will have too…" Miroku swung for the syringe but missed and crashed to the floor, his chains were broken.

"Good thinking Miroku! Now undo mine!" Inuyasha squealed.

Miroku extended his arm and came towards Inuyasha wielding the knife and syringe.

"We are only allowed to use one you Nitwit!"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

"You already said that one."

Miroku shrugged, "I don't know any more," and stuck the needle into Inuyasha's arm.

"Son of a bi-" Inuyasha groaned before he fell into a deep slumber.

When Inuyasha awoke the door was flung open and his stomach was bleeding. He looked over at Miroku who kept muttering, "shit, shit what am I to do!"

"You idiot! You put me to sleep and cut me open when I get out of here I'm going to… wait did the door open?

Miroku sat down next to Kagome. He started to stroke her hair murmuring, " what am I to do."

"Are you going to answer my question!"

"No it won't open… it needs a password."

"Ah ok, so, yah, you cut me open for nothing?"

"Yes… Kagome's dead you know."

Inuyasha started bawling. Miroku did too.

Kagome wasn't dead of course; she planned on killing those two morons. So in utter amazement to Inuyasha and Miroku, she picked herself up, straightened up her skirt and casually entered in the code. Inuyasha was so excited he pulled off his chain and before he could reach the toilet, Kagome pulled a shotgun and hit him right between the eyes.

That last part is extremely ridiculous. #1 how would Kagome know how to shoot a gun let alone hit him right in the forehead. #2 Kagome would never kill Inuyasha seeing as she is nuts for him and all. So sense this is so ridiculous I'll spare you time… Miroku ends up killing Kagome and leaves; he then begins seeing a psychiatrist. There now go outside and have fun or continue looking at fan fiction. Don't even think about another ending being possible because if you are a normal person you would know that I'm the writer and I call the shots.


	2. Chapter 2

Inuyasha shuddered. _Kagome is dead and now I'm trapped in another hellhole. AND on top of that Miroku is here with me… shit I better kill him now before he goes into one of those hissy fits he gets when Songo isn't around… _

But Miroku wasn't having a hissy fit. He never dreamed of what he was seeing now… Lollipops the size of his head danced around him. A nice tingling warmed his cheeks and made his eyes water with delight. Gum drops bounced off his head and made a mountain around him…

Well actually fly's surrounded his head and Inuyasha was slapping him while the pipe above him dripped sewage. Close enough though.

_Dammit he's not waking up. I might as well kill him now while he's unconscious. _

"Inuyasha, NO!"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" He yelled bashing his head against the concrete.

" No it's me! Songo! I love Miroku with all my heart and I never want to be without him again that disgusting pervert!"

"mmmmphmmm cherry butter treeeee mmmm" Miroku was currently stuffing sewage in his mouth.

Songo tried to get to him but Inuyasha stopped her. "Leave him, it will keep him occupied."

She shrugged, "Can you read a picture book?"

"O god not YOU too!"

"No it's a perfectly logical question. Can you read a picture book?"

"Umm since there are no words ill have to say no- well maybe… Huh that is a good question. I'll have to think about it. Hey what's sticking out of your pocket?" Songo pulled out a tape recorder from a jacket.

"O it was sticking out of Kagome's pocket at her funeral, I snatched it. Thought I might get something out of it you know?" Songo examined it, " hey lets listen to it. She turned up the volume.

"Four scores and seven years ago our fore fathers-"

"I've already heard this part, fast forward." Inuyasha turned the volume up again.

"DONCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME RAWR!" Miroku screamed. "DONCHA!"

"Holy hell he's awake! Pause the tape!"

"Is eating a mermaid considered cannibalism?" Miroku asked.

Songo thought for a second, "Well since logically we are not supposed to exist I'm gonna say if mermaids did exist umm No. That was a really thoughtful question though."

"Shh listen!" The room was quiet. "You all have metal braces attached to your heads that will eventually snap your jaws in half when they shut if you don't retrieve the right key from the toilet in one hour. Good luck, don't loose your heads. In the mean time I will explain theories to John F. Kennedy's murder. Aliens DO exist and this is an explanatory tape on how to identify…"

_O so that's why the last tape was f&ed up _Inuyasha thought.

"Wait so we've had metal cages on our head the whole time? O there it is I see it now, geez I thought maybe it was joking but NOW I see!" Inuyasha

"What is a chickpea if it is either a chick, or a pea?" Miroku's head twisted in a circle.

"For god sake. Let's get the key and get out of here!" Songo said.

"Therapy really didn't help him that much did it."

"Well I only paid 5 bucks an hour so it was very crappy service." Miroku replied.

"Are you ok now?" Inuyasha was excited. This was the first time all day that Miroku said something normal."

"DONCHA!"

"I guess not."

Songo lifted up the lid on the toilet. " O gross I'm not putting my hand in that!"

"What are you talking about? EWW there is a Huge Lincoln log in there! Get Miroku he might eat it if we told him it was a Baby Ruth!"

"MIIIIRRROKKU. COMME HERE!"

"SWEET Baby Ruth!" He took a bite. "That is reaaallly good, kind of wet though."

Lo and behold it was a Baby Ruth.

"Shit I am hungry now!" Songo started bawling.

"Pull slap yourself slap together slap O here's the key." Inuyasha started to slip it into the lock when Miroku snatched it from his hand.

"CANDY CANE!" and swallowed it.

"Great, just great. Damn."

"O wait…" Inuyasha rummaged in his purse, " ahh laxative."

"Good idea Inuyasha," said Miroku, "give it to Songo for swallowing the key!"

"You swallowed the key you idiot!" and Inuyasha shoved it down his throat.

"It says on the box to wait five minutes. Ok."

_Five minutes later_

"I have to use the bathroom! Can someone come with me?" Miroku said holding his butt and doing some sort of "I need to go to the bathroom" dance.

Inuyasha looked at him then shrugged he started walking, but then a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz flew out of nowhere grabbed Inuyasha and ate him.

"UH OH!" Miroku said with a brown liquid dripping from his pants.

"Don't you dare take off your pants!" Songo warned but was too late. Miroku went commando that day and it was not a pretty sight. Nonetheless she picked up the key right as the timer went off.

As you can guess this is a sequel therefore it is not as funny as the last one but seriously no one can stop me from publishing this so screw everyone who hated it and any good reviews are welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

Life after Saw: Miroku's story

"I was just so confused when my jaw didn't snap in half and everyone else's did. It hurt. I mean he didn't even take the time to put together like Sango's and Inuyasha's. It left me scared. I mean there are two people writhing around on the floor and I'm thinking: Why can't **I **be doing that, I imagine it would hurt but it looked like they were having the time of their life. AND I know the guy had a video camera on the ceiling and he didn't even bother to come out and fix it. That's what has bothered me. If he took the time to go out, drug me, then out me in a room with two freaks, why wouldn't he take a little time and check if the head set worked. All it did was straighten my teeth!"

"Now, if I understood correctly, you felt rejected. Because your friends died and you didn't, YOU feel alone and unwanted?"

"Ya that's just about it."

"Wow. I'm gonna send you to this guy." The psychiatrist handed him a business card, "He is a specialist. If you have any problems getting a hold of him, call me.

"Sure! That sounds great! Hey can you answer a question for me?"

"Fire away."

"Ok this is just hypothetical, but If I had a gun and was holding you up, and I wanted to ask you a question, and you said 'fire away' should I shoot you?"

"Dammit Miroku I thought we got over this! These questions shouldn't be asked all you'll do is waste your life thinking about them and never getting them answered! But I suppose you would shoot me **if** I said fire away."

"Ok well thanks a lot."

(Three months later Miroku was admitted into Alcatraz for attacking 13 nurses and 5 doctors at a Institute for the Criminally Insane after he shot his original psychiatrist.)

Alright I know this was extremely stupid. There was seriously nothing I could think of to do but I knew I wanted an ending and this was all I could think of. I know this was seriously weak and feel free to tell me how you liked/disliked it. Thanx for the reviews!


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